Dear Employees,
I’m sure you are
all aware that we have Mrs. Doubtfire coming to visit to collaborate with our engineers
on how to modify our human nourishment liquid transference apparatus. I would like you all to treat her with the
respect of a customer but keep in mind she going to be our partner for the time
being. She will be working mostly on the
second floor. I say this to give a heads
up but also to warn the second floor that I know about the broom hockey that is
going on in the break room. With that
said, if I or another executive find that happening while Mrs. Doubtfire is
with us, I will make sure to take away the Pac man machine in the men’s
bathroom as well as the Ms. Pac man machine in the women’s bathroom.
As I said, she
will be our partner for the duration of this project. I would like you to treat her and her
associates with the utmost respect but no need to tip toe around her. She has already agreed to the terms and
conditions of this agreement but that does not mean you can treat her like she
is another employee of mine. I want her
to feel like she is at her own firm and that is only possible with the cooperation
of everyone in this building.
To dispel any and
all rumors about her time and reason for being here, I would like to say that
she is here strictly for business. As
stated previously, she is here to help work out the bugs in our human nourishment
liquid transference apparatus. This
project has been a huge boost for this firm.
With its successful completion we will have our nose in the door, so to
speak, for the Department of Defense contract to build a human nutrition material
transportation device that will one day be used in all dining rooms to finally
get the food from your plate to your mouth. We all will benefit from that
contract so Mrs. Doubtfire’s assistance is vital if you all wish to keep your
jobs next year.
Sincerely,
your boss
From
the desk of Joshua Lendi, CEO of Major Pain Products
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